Ok, my friends. It’s time for another SECRET WEAPON as we figure out how to stand our ground against lust.
Before we get started, here’s what I want you to know: all of us here in Chicago believe in you. We love you. We stand with you. And we know that, day by day, bit by bit, you can walk forward on this thing.
That’s right, I’m talking to *you*.
Ok. Let’s DO THIS. It’s time for SECRET WEAPON NUMBER 3!
“Finding A New 10 Minute Mood Changer”
The average time spent on a porn website is not even 9 minutes. (Technically, it’s 8:56.) Now, forgive me for being a little blunt, but this isn’t a huge surprise. Those of us who have struggled with porn (that being everyone, everywhere on earth) know how this thing works. Step 1 is ‘find something on a porn site that gets you all hot and bothered’. Step 2 is ‘have an orgasm.’ And Step 3 is ‘huh, my interest in this porn website has just dramatically decreased!’
Now, if you talk to people about why they look at porn, what you’ll find out is that many – and sometimes most – of the reasons have little or nothing to do with sex. Folks look at porn because they’re stressed out, because they’re bored, because they’re lonely…and they want something to make them feel better. That makes sense. And, of course, as you probably know, orgasms influence your brain chemistry, so, in a literal sense, the process is making you feel better.
With that in mind, let’s do a thought-experiment. Pretend with me that you’d never heard of porn. And I tell you, there’s a thing that, in about 10 minutes, will help you to feel better, whether you’re bored or stressed or lonely or tired.
If you’re like me, you’d say, “That sounds great! Tell me more!” And that would be the right response – who doesn’t want to have something they can do in 10 minutes to help them feel better?
The good news is this: porn is not the only thing that can help you feel better in 10 minutes.
Here’s just a quick list of things you can do in 10 minutes that will pretty much always help you to mentally relax and feel better:
- Get up, walk out the door, and grab a cup of coffee
- Put on some music real loud and bust out your best dance moves
- Get out your guitar and sing some of your favorite worship tunes
- Put on your shoes and go for a quick run
- Write an email to a friend and tell them how much you appreciate them
Any of these things can be done in about 10 minutes, and you’ll feel better at the end of all of them. Whether you’re lonely, bored, stressed – this stuff will help. Sure, none of these things is a cure for stress or loneliness, but that’s not the point.
The point is that we all need 10-Minute-Mood-Changers in our lives. (Porn just happens to not be a good one.) We all need little things we can do to help us relax and get out of a funky headspace. And I bet that you can build on this list. I bet you can come up with even better 10-Minute-Mood-Changers, and ones that would work really well for you and your situation.
Here’s a bonus secret weapon. Keep a list, on your phone, of your favorite mood changers. And when you start to feel lonely or tired or whatever – something that’s gonna try and tempt you to turn to lust – open up that list. Cause you know these are all things that will help. Then, pick one, and go do it.
At the end of that ten minutes, I bet you two things. First, you’ll feel better – you won’t be as tired or stressed or bored as you were 10 minutes ago. And, second, because you’re feeling better, your desire to look at something lustful has gone down quite a little bit.
You can do it. You can find things that will help you change your mood in 10 minutes, and that will help you stand firm against lust.
We love you. Keep your head up.